What is a Swinger
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Perhaps you have clicked here because you have questions such as "What is a swinger really?" or you wonder what you need to consider before diving into this lifestyle. Fortunately, we'll answer all of these questions below, but we'll start with "What is a swinger?".
These are couples or singles who make the decision to have an open relationship where their partner is allowed to have sex with other people. In the world of swingers, each couple has their own rules so that both parties are aware of what is okay and where the boundaries are. The reason people choose the swinger life is to find something in another partner that they cannot get from their "main partner". With this in mind, below we will give some tips on what you should keep in mind before you and your partner decide to become swingers.
Make sure you have talked to each other
Both parties in a swinger relationship should always be open with each other and communicate frequently to find out just what is okay for the other and what crosses a line that must not be crossed. To have a sex partner on the side can be exciting and great as long as your main partner is okay with what's going on, so talk to each other often and diligently just to be safe. Everyone should feel comfortable in the relationship!
Set clear rules
Once you have made the decision to go to a swinger party, it is important that rules are established. Then we are not talking about approximate rules, but they should be as specific as possible to guarantee that there will be no misunderstandings. For example, a rule might be that kissing is okay, but that oral sex is out of the question. When it comes to topics such as sex dating everyone involved must be aware of what applies.
Meet in a safe place
What's a swinger experience without a safe environment? Not very positive, of course. If you have plans to meet a couple to possibly take part in group sex or other exciting activities, it is a good idea if you meet in a safe club with lots of people and plenty of security guards. As swingers, you should always take the safe side before the safe side.
Southern swingers is an example of a safe place for couples to meet, so if you don't already know each other very well, southern swingers can be a place to bet. In addition to southern swingers, however, there are of course a plethora of different clubs where security is top notch.
Being social and outgoing can be very helpful
If you visit a swinger club, the social aspect is very important. It's not uncommon for people to visit swinger clubs and complain about how the rest of the people there stick to their own groups. However, people are more open than you might think, so even though swingers may gravitate to their friends, no one will turn you away if you walk over and say hello. On the contrary, you will probably be surprised when you notice how quickly people welcome you.
Show up early
It can already feel a little awkward to show up to a swinger party sober when everyone else is drunk, but it's even worse to show up after everyone has started having sex with each other. Therefore, make the smart decision to get there early, to chat with the bartender or the host and feel what the environment is like. You might even be given a tour if you ask for it, giving you the perfect opportunity to talk to your partner about what your plans are.
And what's a swinger without a sassy outfit? Make sure you are well prepared latex clothing in the bag if the couples were to go that far, and why not invest in bringing other cheeky ones with you BDSM clothing which will definitely be appreciated. It's better to come prepared than empty handed!
Learn the swinger language
The right clothes and attitude can be worth their weight in gold, but what's a swinger without a grasp of swinger lingo? There are certain concepts that are well worth keeping in mind before you and your partner head off on a swinger party, and some of these are as follows:
- Hard swap – A term that refers to couples being willing to go as far as having sex with another couple.
- Unicorn – A term that refers to a woman who attends a swinger event by herself without being in a relationship.
- Soft swap – A term that refers to couples who are willing to play with other couples without taking it all the way to intercourse.
These are a number of terms that can be worth adding to your vocabulary before you and your partner head to swinger events. You will undoubtedly come across these words both at swinger parties and if you search for "what is a swinger?".
Drink alcohol in moderation
Isn't it a great feeling to have fantasized about a threesome for a whole week only to almost get all the way there and then realize you're too drunk to handle it. Sure, a glass or two can make you relaxed and more ready to take part in swinger activities, but drinking more than that can have many negative consequences. Not only is it getting harder and harder to keep up, but of course there are no couples who appreciate having sex with a swinger who can barely stand up.
Have realistic expectations
Even if you and your partner are fully willing to take part in a "hard swap", you should not enter a swinger's club and immediately expect to go all the way there. It's never a guarantee to get an orgy, and it may even be that you don't come across any couples you like. Sometimes things also start happening much later in the evening or even after midnight, so don't leave the event disappointed just because it's getting late with no action.
Let the woman take control of the activities
As a man, you've already won if a woman even considers engaging in sexual activities with you. So don't push her to do anything she's not interested in, and it's even a good idea to let her decide what YOU get to do. The woman should also be responsible for all the introductions. In the swinger world, women are in charge, so be patient and let her lead the way.
Start by watching
No matter how much information you find online about swinging, you won't fully understand what it's like until you've been there and experienced the real deal. The first time, it is therefore best to just go there and see how things develop. Then when you and your partner know what you are interested in, decide what rules apply to you and come back to the swinger club at a later time.
Always have a conversation after the event
In the same way that office meetings are held to find out what has been successful and what can be improved, it is important to talk with your partner after each swinging event. This ensures that you can have a conversation where the experience is discussed, and you then have the opportunity to decide if rules need to be changed, added or if there is perhaps something else that you would like to try for next time. Swinging isn't possible if you don't communicate openly, and making sure you're on the same wavelength is of the utmost importance.
With all these aforementioned tips in mind, you are ready to venture into the world of swingers. Find a safe club or event where you know security is top notch and start mingling with the couples who are there. Best case scenario, you find exciting new sex partners who take your relationship to a whole new level, and worst case scenario, you have in any case had a unique experience - and maybe even new friends for life.