All about swing with Dr. Swing, part 7.
Avoid land mines
We all have our triggers that can ruin all the fun for us. To protect yourself and your relationship, you should try to avoid all landmines that can trigger your triggers.
You may know some of these landmines to avoid but don't think they can be devastating for you and your partner. But be careful, especially if you haven't talked about these or had experience with them before.
When you join the swinger lifestyle, you will experience many new exciting things that will test how you and your partner feel. Some like to see their partner with someone else but can't handle seeing their partner kiss someone else. Others may like kisses and caresses but cannot imagine seeing their partner having intercourse with someone else.
Others may like to fantasize about seeing their partner with others but would not be able to carry it out in reality. So for them it is better that it stops at a fantasy.
Don't expect that you and your partner will be okay with every possible scenario that may arise. And to be honest, you don't know how you're going to react until you do it. So don't stress, take it easy and step by step.
The best way to avoid potential landmines is good communication with your partner.
You need to be completely honest with each other about how you feel, especially if it's something negative.
This is the best way to avoid the landmines before you step on them.
Here are some questions you can ask each other to avoid misunderstandings and landmines:
What kind of flirting is ok, looks, verbal, touch?
What type of communication is ok, phone, text, email?
Are there any special body parts that are reserved for your partner only?
How much time and money are you willing to spend on the swinger lifestyle?
How often do you want to participate in swingers events?
What triggers your jealousy?
What kind of looks are off limits?
How much do you get to act on your own?
Are you going to share all the details?
What responsibilities do you have to each other at a swingers event?
Hopefully these questions can help you with what is in your comfort zone and what is not.
You should talk to each other after each event about what you liked and what you didn't like and thus better protect your relationship.
It is better that you catch any question marks at an early stage than to go and knead them for yourselves.
After all, you have chosen this lifestyle because you want to have fun and enjoy yourself.
Open communication between you will strengthen your relationship.
Many swingers have hot sex during an event but even better sex the next day with their partner.
When you first visit a swingers event, you will probably be together the whole time. And you will not act on your own and when you meet someone else, be sure to check with your partner what he feels and thinks. You are probably good at reading each other's eyes and body language.
If you are a couple meeting another couple, there are four of you who must feel that everything feels good and give the go-ahead before continuing. You women do best to get to know the other woman first before you direct your interest to the men.
When you first visit a club or create a profile on a swingers site, you can expect that at first you will get attention from other swingers who are interested in you as you are new to them.
Have a good profile on the swinger sites without showing too much of you and too much of your private life.
Look around among other profiles and don't be afraid to write to those you think seem interesting.
If you find a pair that one party likes but not the other, never take one for the team and the same should apply to your partner. You both have to like the people you meet and if you don't, there will always be other options.
Also stay within your comfort zone and don't try to make your partner go outside of theirs. If you are curious and want to try something new and exciting, it is never wrong to push the boundaries and try new things, but only if you feel like it and find it exciting and exciting.