- I like to try new things, to try something new, which is not just me and Jan. We swing to be inspired, to see what others are doing, says Maria, 20 years old.
- You get to see a lot of new things here, things that you will later want to try, adds boyfriend Jan, 24 years old.
Together for a year
Jan and Maria have been together for a year and live together in Aalborg, Denmark. They have only been swinging for five weeks. They talk about it openly with their closest friends, but they haven't shown any interest in wanting to come along yet.
During this particular evening, Jan and Maria tried sadomacho sex together with another couple for the first time.
But in what way are you not unfaithful to each other?
Jan: -When you have sex with others together with your partner, then you are not unfaithful. It's just sex, and no feelings. But you have to be careful. You can only have feelings for your partner.
But for Maria, the experience has been somewhat different.
- I've only had sex with two men during the twelve times we've been swinging. I haven't had the desire to have sex with so many people other than Jan.
- It still feels a little like I'm unfaithful to Jan when I'm with other men.
Must click
For Jan and Maria, who have visited several swinger clubs in Denmark, it is important not to have any expectations before the evening. It is never certain that you will meet someone with whom you click.
But when you find someone you have chemistry with, aren't you worried that one of you will fall in love?
Maria: Well, a little, I've thought about it.
Jan: - It may happen that you get jealous. But not in the same way as if your partner had been unfaithful.
To avoid these situations, the couple has set up some rules for swinging.
Jan: - A kiss is only ok as long as Maria does it with other girls. Because a kiss is more intimate than sex and then you mix emotions.
Taking a break
And if someone feels uncomfortable with something or someone during the swing night, they take a break.
Jan: -Then we stop and go outside and talk about it. Five minutes later we can be back and ready. Maybe then we don't continue with the same pair but choose another one instead.
Maria: - We always talk things through. We never got angry and then just went home.
SWINGING STARTED IN THE USA
Hide• The swinging movement started in the USA in the 60s.
• As a swinger, you have sex with more people than your partner.
• But it's not just couples who swing, singles are also involved.
• You can either swing at clubs, privately at people's homes or at selected outdoor locations.
• Swing your mind, documentary.
Robert Lundin
robert.lundin@svt.se