All About Swing by Dr. Swing, Part 4.

Jealousy or compression

One of the most common thoughts when it comes to swinging is jealousy, seeing your partner with others. Jealousy is part of our way of looking at it in our society where the norm is to stick to one partner. Jealousy to a certain degree is seen as something normal and if you are not jealous, it is interpreted as not liking your partner enough.

The opposite of jealousy is compression, which is a feeling of happiness that occurs when one person experiences joy when someone else experiences joy, happiness, or pleasure. It is a form of empathy, the joy that a loved one experiences something wonderful in their life. It is an emotional phenomenon, and in addition, sexual happiness compassion (co-ignition) can occur.

Why shouldn't you be happy to see your beloved partner enjoy and have a good time and also be able to enjoy this yourself without feeling jealous.

However, jealousy is a strong force and you must feel that you can control it before entering the world of swingers. It can be different for different people and give different expressions, but it is important that you and your partner talk through what you feel and think, what boundaries and rules you should have.

For example, many couples have a ban on kissing as this is considered an intimate act you only do with your partner, while sex is otherwise purely physical.

Most people suffer from jealousy at some point in their lives and during a relationship. But the important thing is to accept them and be able to talk about them in order to process jealousy and move on.

When you are affected by jealousy, take a moment and reflect on why you have these feelings.

It is not always the easiest as many different components can be involved. 

Is there something specific that has happened, a general feeling, have you felt it for a long time?

Is there anything you and your partner can do to make jealousy go away?

Maybe it was something your partner did? That she enjoyed extra much with a certain person? Her expectations before a date? Any compliment she gave about someone she met?

All of these are things that can make you feel insecure and make your emotions run wild.

A good way to deal with your jealousy and maximize your happiness is to shut out negative people in your life. People who see everything negatively and condemningly. People who could never understand your choice to become a swinger. Jealousy is something you have to have because otherwise you don't love your partner.

So jealousy is the most common feeling but comes to mind when you hear about swinging. But the other feeling, compression, is somewhat less commonly talked about.

Comprehension is the opposite of jealousy. That you feel joy and also pleasure in seeing your partner feel joy and enjoy. This is something positive and something that makes you feel good. As the old saying goes, "shared joy is double joy".

For example, if you eat a bag of your favorite candy and you offer candy to your partner and he also likes the candy, this makes you happy. That you share the same taste and that she likes the same as you, even if there are less sweets in the bag for you. You share an experience together.

Many see this feeling of joy in seeing their partner enjoying themselves as one of the most important things in swinging. If you are strong as a couple and know that your partner will not leave you just because he enjoys being with someone else, this feeling is something wonderful that can speed up your perhaps previously boring sex life.