Swingers say: "We have sex with other couples"

What does it mean to be a "Swinger"? Are there any rules? Do you ever get jealous? We have interviewed the swinger couple Marika and Jens who answer all your questions!

We have interviewed the parents of four, Marika, 29, and Jens, 39. Jens had experience from life as a swinger from before and introduced it to Marika when they met.

- I thought: "Why not?". Better to have tried it and know I don't like it, but I would never be comfortable with this lifestyle.

- Swingers really come in all different shapes, colors and ages. It could be your boss, neighbour, sister or the cashier at Ica, says Marika.

What does swinging mean?

- For us, swinging means that we have sex with other people, mostly together. It can be couples you meet but also an extra girl or boy. However, you can swing in different ways. Some "just" want to have sex with each other in the same room as others, some just want extra girls while others want everything. There is little that you agree on yourself. But having sex with and/or around others is the common thread. It's just sex and no love involved other than with each other, which is usually what people who don't swing find the weirdest. You can be seen at home, at swinger parties, dinners and at swinger clubs. There are a number of them in Sweden.

How often do you swing?

- It is different, but when there is time and desire. Sometimes it may be several times a month, while another month it may be once. It's usually the puzzle of life that can get in the way a little, but when you want and can, you can keep going, haha.

Do you have any rules?

- Our only rule is really that we don't kiss others. It's more "our" thing. Otherwise, we don't really have any rules that way. We usually always drive with open cards and have fun, so most things usually work out. But then it is completely up to each one how they choose to do. Some have a rulebook while others don't have a single rule instead.

Do swingers never get jealous?

- Not being jealous is like A and O when it comes to living as a swinger. There we also come back to the matter of seeing the difference between sex and emotions. It is very important to always play with open cards and talk about what you think and think, that is where it can break otherwise and go wrong. If it's something you don't like, for whatever reason, you can talk about it afterwards and then simply not do it again.

That's why I also think that many swingers can actually live in a better relationship than when you choose to "just" be with your partner in the relationship, as I think it's easier that it can be glorified then and that you can't really talk about everything with the risk of bringing up something very sensitive. Of course, as swingers, we can also get jealous, but that doesn't happen often. And if it happens, it's probably because you feel a little sidelined in some way, but that you can address afterwards. But for the most part there are no worries.

What is it about swinging that interests you?

- For me right from the start, it was big and widespread. Swingers really do come in all shapes, colors and ages. It could be your boss, neighbour, sister or the cashier at Ica. Really be anyone, and that's big. It's a "hidden world" that you get access to when you start swinging, because many people choose to keep this world a secret and don't want to share it with others, unfortunately. There are a lot of prejudices that we work to break. I'm also interested in what amazing people you meet. We have met people who today can call really close friends and hold us close to our hearts.

What's the biggest prejudice about swingers you've heard?

- That only ugly people swing. And that sounds so horrible to say, but I've been told that countless times. As I said, it's all possible and it's not possible to put any category on who does it and who doesn't. Then many people think that swingers have a really bad sex life because they want to have sex with others, and that is definitely not true. The better your private sex life, the safer you feel when you invite/with others, I think.

If you want to become a swinger, how do you do it?

- There are various online forums such as Bodycontact and Darkside where you can find like-minded people, but also SDC (Swingers dateclub) which is a bit more international. On these pages, you become a member as a couple or single and search for what interests you. This is perhaps the easiest way, but of course there are other ways to get in touch with others .